Steve and I used to work together. We bonded because we were both sarcastic complainers with a mutual distaste for working the weekend. We used to joke that a really genius way to get out of working nights or weekends would be to pretend to have a baby (I'm sure there must be some sitcom or corny Adam Sandler movie based on this premises).
The theory was that between fake doctors appointments, the birth, paternity leave and general child care, you could have enough excuses to get out of crappy job assignments for at least two years!
And then Steve came into the office one day and told me, "Kristen and I are having a baby..."
Was this real or was he bravely testing out our fake baby theory?
I decided to believe it was a hoax. Every time he left early for some baby related appointment I'd try to get him to confess-- "Come on man, you know this baby thing isn't real."
Eventually Kristen gave birth to baby Reagan. At this point of course I realized that it was probably real, but there was still a small part of me that was holding out. Whenever Steve brought in pics I'd examine them closely looking for some sort of photoshop flaw or difference from picture to picture to catch him-- "Which of your Facebook friends did you steal these baby pics from Steve?"
And then adding fuel to the conspiracy fire was the fact that every time Steve brought in baby Reagan I just happened to be out of the office! Everyone would talk about how cute the baby was but since I never got to actually see this mystery baby my reaction was always-- "where did you go to rent a baby, Steve?"
Well I finally got to meet Reagan in the flesh the other day and here is what I learned:
- she loves to dance to bluegrass
- she drives a hard bargain for cherry tomatoes
- she's almost as sloppy an eater as I am
- she would stare off into the water all day if you let her
- she's definitely a real child who responds to the name Reagan
- she's definitely adorable
- and yes, she definitely belongs to Steve and Kristen... probably...
Fake baby jokes aside, I had a fantastic time finally meeting Reagan. She was fun and remarkably cooperative. It was also great seeing Steve and Kristen. And if you're looking for some family related fun on a Saturday morning, add the Fells Point Farmers Market to your list.